New!! Cavebear Opto technology is now available for Direct Connect and fiber optical cables! Call for details!
Are you using ordinary 10-Base-T and 100-Base-T cables from an ordinary, boring store? Did you know that ordinary, boring cables are simply copper wire twisted into pairs?
How fast do you think your important data moves down those ordinary cables? Do you think it moves equally fast in either direction? Do you believe that Michaelson and Morley were right?
Sadam had ‘em.
Russian has ‘em.
The US has ‘em.
China has ‘em.
But you don’t have ‘em.
Nope, you do not possess that j’ne sais quoi, that air of the international man about town, the ultimate persuader.
No, you do not have a packet of mass destruction.
Your neighbors do not fear you. Ninety-two pound weaklings kick sand in your face. Your spouse can hardly bear to be seen standing alongside you.
Several of our researchers here at the CaveBear Labs supplement their income by going down to Pacific Avenue in Santa Cruz where they sit in doorways and ask for “donations”. Occasionally some wise tourist comes by - wearing a polyester shirt and sandals with socks - and sagely advises our staff to “pound sand”.
Knowing that life is full of secret cues, we went down to the beach one night and tried pounding the sand.
**TODO**
Modern code is not complete until it has been buttered with buzzwords. Agile, “release early, release often”, scrum, RAD, “continuous integration”, “design patterns”, “adaptive”, … and so forth.
But most importanly, no code is worth running - in fact modern, secure EFI boot might refuse to run - any code that has not been refactored.
The software team over at the Cavebear labs has worked day and night, sometimes past 4pm, to come up with the most agilistic continuously integrated adaptive refactoring engine ever.
Are you wearing a hat? If so you had better hold on tight. This offer will blow your socks off!
CaveBear has switching fabric!
Have you ever seen the insides of the latest and fastest routers and switches? They’re full of little black plastic chips! And do you know what’s in those chips? Take a guess – yes! It’s switching fabric!
That’s right, it’s switching fabric!!
CaveBear has acquired truckloads of name brand, top quality switching fabric.
Did you know that in Europe they drive their T-1s at over 2 Megabits per second? So, why is it that here in the USA you only get 1.54 Megabits? Where did nearly one half megabit per second go? Is it government regulation?
What you need is the CaveBear T-1 TESTAROSSA!
Is your thinnet or thicknet lifeless? Does it just sit there on the floor looking bored?
Back to Legacy
Is your thinnet or thicknet lifeless? Does it just sit there on the floor looking bored?
Well, then the CaveBear TURBO TERMINATOR is what you need.
Just replace those tired, slow standard terminators with a pair of CaveBear TURBO TERMINATORs.
The CaveBear TURBO TERMINATOR generates 20 million positive and negative polarity pulses each second! The electromagnetic push and pull generated by the CaveBear TURBO TERMINATORs causes the bits on your Ethernet to accelerate to nearly the speed of light!
After a hard day’s work, haven’t you ever gone home mumbling to yourself that the speed of light is just too slow?
Admit it, we all do it.
But what you might not know is that glass fiber manufacturers and the government are in a conspiracy to hide the truth. The facts are this: light moves nearly 40% faster in a vacuum than it does in glass.
This means that bits flowing on your fiber optic network are moving at only 60% of their potential speed.
Do you want to take advantage of today’s hot XML technology?
Are you longing to reveal your deepest secret emotions in the luscious lines of languid XML? But are you held back by your attachment to that old Cobol Compiler?
Do you tingle at the thought of writing something like:
<?xml version="1.0"?> <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="liquid.xsl"?> <document> <head> Oh, she said, Oh! </head> <body> <greeting> Oh, what great big eyes you have Granny!
You have, of course, heard about Amazon.com’s “one-click checkout” patent. Many of you have been sued for violating it. And maybe a few of you have actually used it.
Here at the Cavebear Laboratories no stone is left unturned. We have heard the sound of music. We have climbed every mountain, forded every stream, and followed every rainbow. So it’s only natural that one snowy evening while thinking of our favorite things and listening to John Coltrane we came up with an amazing discovery, something that will shake sales and marketing executives right down to the soles of the their Bruno Magli’s.