You have, of course, heard about Amazon.com’s “one-click checkout” patent. Many of you have been sued for violating it. And maybe a few of you have actually used it.
Here at the Cavebear Laboratories no stone is left unturned. We have heard the sound of music. We have climbed every mountain, forded every stream, and followed every rainbow. So it’s only natural that one snowy evening while thinking of our favorite things and listening to John Coltrane we came up with an amazing discovery, something that will shake sales and marketing executives right down to the soles of the their Bruno Magli’s.
We’ve invented the Zero-Click Checkout! - ZCC
In a word: ZCC is revolutionary.
“One-click checkout” is obsolete. It’s too slow and troublesome.
With ZCC you just view a web page and you are done! When you see it, you’ve bought it!
Is ZCC secure? Sheesh! You may as well ask if Columbus was Spanish!
Manifestation of mutual assent?! Bah, what a nuisance. We’re talking instant gratification.
And one less mouse click means one less chance of tunnel carpel syndrome!
Don’t force your customers to endure the agony of indecision, use ZCC! In fact, this page is ZCC enabled - and you have now purchased a Zero-Click Checkout license from CaveBear Labs. You will be happy, you will be gratified, you are getting sleepy; you will not obtain a refund.
Looking forward into the future our Cavebear Scientists predict that soon we will improve Zero-Click Checkout into No-Look Checkout: Just give us your credit card number and we will buy everything you might want - you will merely have to answer the door when the packages arrive. Well, you might also have to deal with the bill collector.