Every day we here at CaveBear get letters saying “You may already be a winner”. Oops, wrong letters. Let’s start this over…
Every day we here at CaveBear get letters say “What can you do to help? We are running 10/100-Base-T…” Whoa! Hold on right there. Can we help? You bet your bippy we can!
Remember how the announcer on TV used to speak in hushed tones about the “atom smasher”?
If you are like me, you find firewalls to be a nuisance and a bother — So the CaveBear invented the CaveBear Armor Piercing Packet, aka the CAPP.
The CAPP is great for getting through those firewalls – no muss, no fuss. Just aim it at that bothersome firewall and launch. Like a hot knife through butter, it cuts through those barriers. And it leaves nothing but a little entry hole to mark its path.
Welcome to the new and revised Cavabear catalog!! If we have it, you don't need it!
Ask yourself these simple questions:
Is your network too slow? - Of course it is. Do you want to speed it up? - Of course you do. If you answered yes, and we already know that you did, then you have come to the right place!
Networking has changed a lot over the years.
It’s a blast from the past - same old products for your same old, and we mean old, network…
Operators are standing by to take your order, but these orders must be placed using a rotary dial telephone and payment must be made using traveller’s cheques.
In order to protect you from embarrassment, these products are shipped in reused Amazon Prime boxes.
The CaveBear 10/100 BASE-T CYCLOTRON The CaveBear ISDN INTENSIFIER The CaveBear T-1 TESTAROSSA The CaveBear TURBO TERMINATOR Back to Cavebear Catalog
We participate in no so-called "private" privacy initiatives. Indeed we feel that leaving the protection of privacy to anything less than well enforced laws would be a farce.
The CaveBear site takes no active steps to protect your privacy. We collect the standard logs of access to our systems.
We never have used the access logs for anything but our own administrative uses - primarily monitoring our sites to see whether someone has tried (or succeeded) to penetrate our security.
Sure, you could go to Ars Technia or Gizmodo or Communications of the ACM. But, why? Don’t we give you enough? Haven’t we provided for you through all your years? Are you ungrateful? It’s a good thing mother, bless her soul, who worked her fingers to the bone to put food on the table, can’t see you now.
GagaNet The RealMan’s LAN Initial Specification Back to Cavebear Catalog
PRESS RELEASE May 5, 1998:
Las Vegas, Networld+Interop
Today, the worlds greatest collection of networking professionals gathered and constructed the first trans-relativistic network.
The NOC Team used hyper-fiber to create the first network not limited by the speed of light. David Steele, creator of new fiber, and rumored Nobel Prize candidate, said of the new material "Well, I figured that normal fiber is a simple ‘push’ technology. So I built a couple of fiber transceivers with the power leads reversed.
RealMan's LAN Initial Specification V 0.1 Date: 4 Jun 92 18:36:09 GMT
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Steven D Ourada)
RealMan's LAN Initial Specification V 0.1
I) Physical Specifications
The physical transmission medium shall be a pair of standard 20 gauge copper wires, wrapped in Black Electrical Tape. Each node shall be connected to the common Aeather by means of cutting the copper wire pair, twisting the new node's wires together with the two exposed ends of the Aeather, capping the splice with Those Orange Thingies, and wrapping the entire splice in Black Electrical Tape.
We stand behind our products. (We certainly wouldn’t stand in front of ‘em or on top of ‘em. We don’t recommend that you do either.)
The CaveBear makes the following product warranty:
CaveBear products are constructed using only the finest quality sub-atomic particles. If you find a defective particle, please isolate it.
The ol’ CaveBear disclaims any warranties of fitness, unfitness, merchantability, airworthiness, nutritional value, artistic merit or anything else you might think of.