We stand behind our products. (We certainly wouldn't stand in front of 'em or on top of 'em. We don't recommend that you do either.)
The CaveBear makes the following product warranty:
CaveBear products are constructed using only the finest quality sub-atomic particles. If you find a defective particle, please isolate it.
The ol' CaveBear disclaims any warranties of fitness, unfitness, merchantability, airworthiness, nutritional value, artistic merit or anything else you might think of.
CaveBear understands the time-space continuum, so not only do we warrant our products AS IS, but we also warrant them AS-WAS and AS-WILL-BE.
In fact the CaveBear would consider you pretty silly if you actually used these things.
Just in case you haven't gotten it by now (and some people haven't) -- these things are jokes, yucks, nonsensical things that can't work (unless by accident).