The CaveBear Catalog is now in e-Commerce! (Although we understand your skepticism -- How can anybody have an e-commerce site that isn't covered with fancy kitschy moving graphics and cart icons?)
(Why are we in e-commerce? -- Because we know this will mean that our stock will be hyped by Internet-inebriated analysts and pushed by know-nothing day traders to insanely high prices, making us filthy rich.)
We are very proud to introduce our line of e-Furniture. And our first item is one that is sure to make you tingle with excitement:
The CaveBear e-Chair may well be the last chair you ever need. It is so comfortable that you may never get up.
Our e-Chair is wired for direct access to the Internet, the telephone network, and the utility power grid.
Just plug it in and sit down, tighten the straps, and throw the switch. You'll be shocked and perhaps even amazed (for a short time) at how fast the chair responds.
Some users enhance the experience by smoking.
We do recommend that before using the e-Chair for the first time that you call your both 911 and your local electrical utility company and let them know. They'll appreciate the advance notice. So will the paramedics and firefighters.